It’s important to understand that there is no documented or undocumented evidence throughout the labyrinth of human history (or geological time) that can refute the self-made statement that I am indeed the first person ever to construct and wear a neckless made out of Italian Pancetta.Being alone on a boat – day 10 now – is like a smaller more intimate version of the LHC (Large Hadron Collider). Everyday is spent bombarding oneself against oneself; what wondrous particles fly off the mind – these are the nuclei of what life is made of. The Pancetta neckless is just one of many gifts we might find under the cosmic hood of our own thoughts. A God particle, if you will.

Like a morning fog, the distractions and trappings of the outside world eventually fade away and I am left with a clarity as clear as these Sardinian waters I float in.In this infinite space I see crumbs left behind from three meals before, the cracks and imperfections of the world come in to clear view: salty build-up on port-hole glass scream for attention: books no longer make sense; just vast pools of black ink carelessly spilt on tree fiber, like a slaughter of blood. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should pee sitting down, as that would eliminate any chance of unsightly stray drops. Other times I ponder if maybe today is a good day to change my shorts. Endeavoring to schedule the day’s 24 hours segments is meaningless; time ceases to tick in THIS world. Conversations with food and other animated objects of matter become the atomic clock that regulate the rotations of the sun and the earth.

But there are ALWAYS big questions, like: why am I playing UNO with swiss cheese and coffee makers? Or, why do I keep Acetone in a Veuve Cliequot Brut Champagne case….?Land seems to be the enemy – it lays just to Port, and sometimes to Starboard…depending on the direction of the wind. It’s noisy and full of people who if invited to the boat would eventually stain my cushions with sun screen or wine. Yes, It is best to avoid land, there is too much at stake here.

On a boat resources are finite, a microcosm of Mother Earth. The metaphor becomes reality: water, coffee, gas, internet credit, pancetta, sanity…they are all slipping away, slowly eroding like the metal pipping in my bilge.

So what’s the point of all this you might ask….I think it’s simple. As Reggie Watts so articulately said:

“The important thing to remember is that this simulation is a good one. It’s believable, it’s tactile. You can reach out — things are solid. You can move objects from one area to another. You can feel your body. You can say, “I’d like to go over to this location,” and you can move this mass of molecules through the air over to another location, at will”

How could I possibly improve on that?

FYI – seeing as no one will ever hire me again after all these bloggings I’m selling Pancetta necklaces as a high end – Pret A Manger – nautical-wear to finance the rest of my sailing. $29.99, act now before they rot.

Special call out to my true Italian brother Jay Boccia of Bellino Wine Room & Boutique Bangkok. Jay is the real master of the pancetta!

Captain Awesome, Costa Rei, Sardinia, Italy. July 2015.